Ruth Patchett has it all: a large, warty body, a standard suburban home, a couple of unruly children, a dog, a cat and a guinea pig. She also has Bobbo, her unfaithful accountant husband who resents her very existence. Bobbo wants, and is wanted by, romance novelist Mary Fisher, who lives in a lighthouse by the sea. When Bobo leaves Ruth for Mary, Ruth decides that Mary doesn't know the first thing about love, and she's gonna teach her.

Julie T. WallaceRuth Patchett

Patricia HodgeMary Foster

Dennis WatermanBobbo Patchett

Paul HerzbergGarcia

Caroline ButlerNicola Patchett

Christopher MossfordAndy Patchett

Noel DysonBrenda

John BluthalAngus

Edna O'BrienSelf

Sue CookSelf

Liz SmithMrs Fisher

Miriam MargolyesNurse Hopkins

Malcolm TerrisGeoffrey Tupton

Ina CloughMrs Trumper

Barbara BaberMrs Sweet

Pamela MansonMrs Ivan

Bernard HeptonJudge Bissop

Pippa GuardLady Bissop

Kim ThomsonElsie Flowers

Sheila AllenFiona

Terence HarveyDentist

John RoweDr Rohn

Stephen GreifDr Ghengis

Margaret WadeOlga

Yasmin PettigrewMrs Andrews

Walter ShepherdDetective

Olivier PierreLawyer

John MortimerSelf

Tom BakerFather Ferguson

Nina ZuckermanSarah

Terrance ConderDr Black

Teresa GarrawayNurse Black

Philip RyanPrison Warder

Ann PenningtonBookshop Manageress